did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Randomize
