somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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