Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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