The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
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