He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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