Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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