The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
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