After last night, I could never be a politician.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
