Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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