your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
