Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
