I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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