I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Randomize
