i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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