Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
