And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
