Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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