That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
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