His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
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