I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
