You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
