I am in a vortex of obligation.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
