Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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