we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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