id be glad to
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize