now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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