It's Friday. Sex?
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
