Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
