We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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