never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
