Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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