i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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