he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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