U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
