from now on my penis is your penis
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
