i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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