Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
