It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
