I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
