apparently the secret to your success is patron
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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