the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize