But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
