Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
