I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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