The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
