Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Randomize
