So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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