Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
That reminds me...we need to get swords
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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