her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
