Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
