Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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