I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
