Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
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i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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