Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
i love accidental penises.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I want to be your penis for a week.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Randomize
