so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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