I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize