I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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