Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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