They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
PANTIES FOUND
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