Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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