i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
